From my Journal.

" Ever since I was diagnosed with breast cancer, my world has CHANGED! Obviously the first thing that comes to mind is dying...the worst possible outcome. The feeling you get when you find out is beyond sickening and empty. My whole body felt like it went limp...I couldn't eat, cry, sleep, think NOTHING! The whole time I would feel like something was moving forward...it was just going backwards. Invasive Ductal Carcinoma was my NEW LIFE. Surgery...Chemo...Radiation and an estrogen blocking pill for the next FIVE years after I'm finished is my whats happening. I'm very lucky that this is curable & after I finish all of this, I will slowly get back to my normal self. I never knew how this was going to happen to me and its already been a weird road! "

So I have time to go through my journals and I decided that making blogs surrounding my journal entry's was a GREAT idea. It gives you a REAL and RAW look at my journey and what I went through! Some will be easy and some ARE hard to read. By doing this, I'm really allowing myself to be on the internet and let a whole bunch of people make assumptions or judge me but I also know that there are people who needed help or comfort in knowing they're not alone! My blog is STRICTLY to share my experiences/everyday life in hopes of helping/inspire someone else out!

When I got the "CALL" it was beyond devastating and I was actually hurt. I just met my birth family, in a happy relationship and happy in life...so why was I given a death sentence?! I was angry at this time and scared of dying,thinking what would my mom and boyfriend do if I passed away?

Things started popping up in my head that I would never normally think about because we never think something bad could happen to us. Well it does happen to EVERYBODY no matter how healthy or wealthy you are, it happens unfortunately.

I was in so much shock that when we hung up the phone with the nurse, I started laughing and just stared at my mom. I didn't want to be touched, I didn't want to hear whatever she had to say. I couldn't even bring myself to tell my boyfriend...I told my mom to call him, I couldn't talk at all. And on top of this, my mom and step dad were leaving the day I got diagnosed for a two week cruise through Italy. I of course told my mom to go because nothing was going to be happening while she was gone besides meeting with a whole bunch of doctors.

I lost "Liz", I didn't know where she truly went but on the outside she was still present. I made the people around me feel more comfortable than I did myself. I always think about my loved ones before I do myself and now more than ever! I got real good at smiling and hiding my emotions that it was a natural habit...

As I make these posts, I'll figure out how to end them properly but for now my whole purpose is to bring awareness to yourself. We all need to be aware of how we feel, if something feels wrong and we also need to be properly educated on these topics and how to approach them. I will also include some tips and tricks I learned along the way but for now I hope my journey inspires some females AND males to get check ups! Males can get breast cancer too!